I worked in our natural resources division today, hauling a twenty pound pack filled with herbicide while wearing rubber gloves up to my elbows (in humid 84 degree heat!) tramping through fields. Our crew kind of looked like the guys from Ghostbusters. But instead of hunting apparitions, we hunted exotic invasives. It was a thistle round up.
At one point, I came across a turtle lying on its back. It was stuck in the mud and would soon be hawk food if we didn't do something about it. If turtles could look frightened, this one was terrified. We set him (or her... I don't know, I don't really consider myself a turtle person) on his (or her!) feet and went about our way. After we finished the field, we passed the spot where the turtle had been, but he (she, it, whatever) had gone.
I thought about this in relation to my own life. I have let a lot of things stack up against me (school, obligations, work, stress) so much that I got stuck. Upside down. In the mud. I had to let my own guard down (even if it meant shrinking my head into my shell) and let others help me. My mom flew in to be a support for me for a while. My dad was very sweet to send her. My grandmother will also be coming to my rescue (and thanks to my granddad for sending her!). My family is helping set me upright. So I can finish writing. So I can graduate. So I can move (I still don't know where to, yet). So I look to my future, even if it is at a slow and steady pace. I want a slow and steady pace.
I have not heard about the job I interviewed for, yet. I had hoped to hear something by the end of this week. And I have also decided to step down from my trip to England. So I will have the month of May help sort my life out (while writing furiously and wrapping up tasks at my current work in hopes that I will be relocating soon). Maybe I will get this thing called "life" right while on this Earth. I guess that is what eternity is for.