Anticipation could be one of the worst feelings in the world. Or, maybe, I just am not trained very well in anticipating. My generation asks and... gets. I don't have to wait long for, well, anything. I want a piece of fruit, regardless of season? I hop over to the grocery store. I can't remember of that guy in that movie? I ask the internets, easily accessible by phone. I have something to say? I just tweet it, no filters. I don't want to wait in like at Disneyland? Fastpass-it. Even as adult, I don't always have to wait until my birthday or Christmas to get something. I make my own money and can buy my own things (within reason). In a word: spoiled. A lifetime (practically) filled with instant gratification has spoiled me.
When something comes up that I have to wait for, the waiting seems to kill me. Let's call it an exercise in discipline and patience, but it is so hard. I am waiting right now to hear about a potential job. A potential job that I really, really want. I have mentally already pinned a lot on the job, just because of the way it has played out so far. And I may not hear back about it until later this week. I should just live my life like normal until I get that call, right? Yeah, right. The anticipation of hearing back is killing me. A mix of hope and dread. What if I don't get it? I know it is not the end of the world, but I will be one sad ranger.
So I hope. And I continually pray. Usually my prayers turn into "please help me be patient... now!" I will continue to hope. To wait. To pray. To think happy thoughts. And to try and distract myself with my insane "to-do" list while I anticipate.