Thursday, March 26, 2009

I am what they call in the training business a "peak-to-sooner"

Now that I am home, I just want to go back. Did I not say that I would forget the oppressive heat and annoying bugs of the Pacific? I don't know if it was the travel or the break from school or the meeting of new people or what, but I am ready to move along. I've always had a sort of itch to keep going and seeing new places (I think that comes from being an Army brat) but that itch remained mostly neutral since I've been in Tennessee. Now I want to leave Tennessee. Stupid school.

I'm not sure if I will continue blogging. I like it and I've had some people ask if I will continue. I think so? Maybe not? I will take it day by day. I will feel weird if I am not writing with a purpose (like keeping family and friends posted about adventures on a trip). I suppose I could document my progress in school as I approach the end (if all goes well, I will graduate in December). Or I could blog about how I quit school and joined the circus (don't laugh, I'd do it... except that clowns scare me).*

I feel that I may have been a "peak-to-sooner." I worked so hard as an undergrad and have pushed myself as a graduate student. I positioned myself, too, to succeed in the masters program so I could be accepted in a PhD program (and theoretically succeed there to theoretically get a job). Now I lack the motivation to finish my masters program [don't freak out, Mom and Dad- I'll finish]. I just have to keep telling myself I have nine more months and then I am free to do whatever I want. I haven't decided if I want to be a park ranger or work overseas. Park Ranger for the National Park Service is, by far, the best job ever. Unfortunately, it is mostly limited to the US. I was looking at federal jobs overseas today and found a number that I would be content doing in Europe or Asia, but the jobs themselves would not be as cool as being a park ranger.

I suppose I could just chill out and enjoy my time here. The weather is warming up and I love summertime. And I have an outstanding group of friends here. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night (as my body was telling me it was the middle of the day and I should not sleep regardless of how tired I was) and decided to read for a bit. Ecclesiates is becoming one of my new favorite books.

"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God... So I saw that there is nothing better for people than to be happy in their work. That is why we are here! No one will bring us back from death to enjoy life after we die." (Ecc. 3:11-13, 22)

It's just hard to remember that when day-to-day stress rears its ugly head and makes me want to quit school and live in a van by the river.

*(I would like to take this time to admit to my over-use of parenthesis. I don't know why I like them so much, I just do.)


SomethingWicked said...

I love paretheses too! I think you should join a carnival. You could eat fire or something... that would rock (or burn). I also think you should continue your blog since I can't keep up with you on myspace.

Bethany Hall said...

Clothes are washed and I am looking to travel again. Ready to go? There is a group going back in September. I'm small enough to fit in carry-on luggage after losing almost fifteen pounds on the trip. Rock on!