Saturday, June 9, 2012

A Wanted Woman

I'd like to think I am a rogue, living on the edge of life, laughing in the face of danger. I dream of being a pirate, after all! In all reality, I am an upstanding, rule-abiding, regulation-quoting citizen who polishes her boots daily (according to NPS Reference Manual #47: Uniforms). So when I receive a notification from the State of Louisiana regarding my neglect to pay a speeding ticket, I melt. Especially when the notification threatens me with 30 days to pay the ticket, plus a $100 fee, or else I will lose driving privileges.

I sped my way through Evangeline Parish and got caught in Pine Prairie back in February. I will stand by my story that I honestly did not realize I was going 54 mph in a 40 mph zone (I thought it was still 55 mph). In fact, I was impressed with myself that I was actually going one mile less than what I thought was the posted limit. I had been reading a series of detective stories that painted an ill picture of law enforcement personnel in south Louisiana. This series is both dated and fictional, but it was enough to keep me cautious on the backroads of south Louisiana. Minor terror flooded me as I saw the flashing blue lights signal me to pull over. The officer was friendly and wrote me the ticket and I thanked him as I drove away.

Over the following weeks and months, I essentially forgot about this ticket and my obligation to pay it. Oh, it crossed my mind once or twice that I received a ticket and somehow misplaced it and I told myself, "don't forget to look up that parish's court's number so I can call them about a replacement ticket." Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Lesson learned.

After I told myself to keep it together (after falling apart over receiving this notice yesterday), I called the number listed to ask how I go about paying the ticket. When the women told me the ticket fee I commented that the amount was more than I remembered. "Oh, honey," she said, "you have warrants out. This pays for those, too." I thanked her politely, ended the call, and fell apart again. I am a wanted woman! And not even for something cool! I am eligible to spend time in the slammer! And I am only wanted for my carelessness and neglect!

Thanks to help from my parental units, I can pay this great state of Louisiana and remove myself from the wanted list. Maybe next time I do some law-breaking it will be for something noteworthy, like plundering a ship or skewering another pirate.

*If you see the time stamp on this, you will take note that it is during a working day. Rule-abiding me would like to express that I wrote this during my lunchbreak from my own personal mobile device. No government time was harmed in the creation of this blog post.

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