It isn't easy being a single lady in the 21st century. I was chatting with another single lady (who lives practically in the middle-of-nowhere-south-Georgia) about the difficulty of getting a date. We laugh about it. We exchange stories of awkward encounters and dream dates. We pretend it doesn't really bother us and we are doing exactly what we want. But we both know that the freedom we enjoy in our singlehood comes at the cost of, well, being single.
I get a lot of advice about my status, some intentional, some unintentional. 98 percent of this advice is what I need to do to not be single any more. The other 2 percent usually sounds like, "just hang in there and be patient." What if I am not doing it right? What if I am just not following the advice and THAT is why I am single? I believe I shall review all the pieces of advice I have received the past few years in an attempt to reveal what it is I may be doing wrong:
1. "You are too picky."
I am going to call this "high standards." I know what I want and I know what I certainly do not want. Simple as that.
2. "You don't put yourself 'out there' enough."
Out where, exactly?
3. "You have grandma-like hobbies."
Admittedly, I like to crochet, garden, run, paint, watch movies, read books, write, and bake. These are not team-sport-type hobbies in which I can meet new people. So maybe my shut-in-ness decreases my chances of meeting new people (while simultaneously allowing myself to fall in love with characters created by Jane Austen and the like).
4. "Your fung shui is not correct."
Evidently, the fact that I have created a functional sleeping space for me and only me means I am not allowing the correct energies to flow through my life.
5. "You are not feminine enough."
It could be the ranger boots, love of military history, penchant for belching, or anything-you-can-do-I-can-do-better attitude.
6. "You are too feminine."
It could be my hatred of all-things-sports, my love of dolling-up, and infatuation with anything pink, lacy, pearls, polka dots, or Barbie.
7. "You don't give off the 'I'm single and am looking vibes.'"
I don't really know how to fix this. Maybe carry a sign? Get a tattoo on my forehead?
8. "You should try online dating."
Yeah, there is no way I can legitimately describe myself on a dating site without sounding crazy. Let the suckers at least meet me first before they make their assessment.
9. "You don't go to the right places."
A friend and I went to Target last week and he made the comment that Target was clearly the place for him to meet the sweet, attractive, single ladies. I don't know what Target's equivalent is for meeting single guys.
10. "You are too much, tone it down a little."
If you know me, you might agree with the first part of this statement. At the same time, if you know me, you understand that this won't change.
So there is my basic list of advice pieces and my attempt at counter arguments. I will continue to tell myself that it isn't that I am doing something wrong but that it is that my Mr. Right (sooooo cliche!) hasn't come along. And I will continue to sing to myself, believing in my own fairy tale. But I am also one to believe that the Loch Ness monster is real and that there is still an undiscovered island waiting for me to be the first to explore it, so who knows?