In four days, I will be running my second half marathon ever in New Orleans. I will be running it in a tutu. I've been training for months. I've done this before. AND YET. I still have a massive amount of butterflies when I stop and think about it. Why? I have no idea.
My friend and partner in crime who is running it with me (also in a tutu) agreed that if anything, we can walk it out and it won't be the end of the world. At this point in time, no zombies will be chasing us, so it won't be the end of the world if we have to walk the last mile or so. In our tutus. But it is a mental thing. Mentally, I am tripping myself out enough to have had a "what if we don't finish" conversation. Mentally, I will have to push myself when my legs feel the burning with every step, hips throbbing, and energy stores plummeting. And ultimately, if I do have to walk it out (in my tutu), it won't be the end of the world, but mentally I will have to overcome a notion of failure.
It won't be failure, though. I will have lapped (several times) kid me: the one who opted to volunteer in the library than play kickball at recess. I have aleady conquered old me who could not hardly jog a quarter mile without gasping for oxygen. And I won't even say how I have treated vain me; I will be wearing a frilly purple and green tutu for a 13.1 mile run in public. Any self-consciousness I once had I have kicked in the rear end.
It turns out confidence is one of the top three problems that the majority of top athletes (like those who probably liked to play kickball at recess and now get paid for playing professionally) deal with. They are the good ones! People look up to them! Why would they have confidence issues?? It's all mental. It's about making the "I can do it" yell louder than the "No, I can't!" I just have to keep race day in perspective. In my tutu.
PS. I have written like three posts since I last published but my phone has not been agreeable so they haven't all posted. Bummer.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone