Sunday, March 20, 2011

happy birthday to me!

Yesterday was the anniversary of the day I left my mother's womb and entered this crazy world. I enjoy my birthday, probably because of the fact that it is designed to be a "me" day. I spent the day visiting two National Park Service sites (insane, I know), Monocacy National Battlefield and Catoctin Mountain Park (where Camp David is located!). NPS 4evah.

In the past few years, I have used my birthday as a time to reflect on my past year (much like people use the holiday on January 1st). What have I done in the last year? How have I changed? How have I grown (and I am not referring to my waist size)? What have I accomplished? What have I not? Since I was fifteen years old, I have written a letter to my one-year-in-the-future-self, about who I am on that day and who I hope to be. At some point today I will write my letter, starting "Dear Twenty-Seven-Year-Old Biz..."

Why is self-reflection even important? I feel it helps me to keep my self-perceived crazy life in context. I can see how I have moved forward and consider my current direction. I can think about my future in relation to my recent past. And especially now, with recent events in Japan and Libya, I can think about my in perspective. What is honestly important (and what have I let overtake my focus that may not be so important?)?

I know I am prone to stressing out (surprise surprise). But maybe I need to identify my true stressors and knock them out. If something affects my life so much that I break down or lose sleep over it, maybe I need to make the effort to remove it. This may sound like common sense to an average person, but it is my own revelation and my own struggle. I think it really hit home when my best friend said to me the other day, "man, I have never known you to not be stressing out about something." Dude. That is almost four years speaking (and she didn't know me the three years before that).

I won't make any resolutions for the year. And the wish I think about as I blow out my candle will most likely only be the same it has been for years, something related to ponies or Prince Charming (does that ever change??). But I have got a fresh start today. And tomorrow. And this week. Spring is a good season to consider life anew.

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