Thursday, September 27, 2012

Where is this road going?

"Where do you think your road is going?"

I have a journal with daily questions or statements designed to prompt thoughts. Today's question: "Where do you think your road is going?"

My answer? I don't know. And I am okay with that.

I know you have noticed my recent writing absence. I mentioned it before and planned on writing but life just happened. So I won't look to the past, I'll focus on my present while being mindful of my future. My present currently looks like this:

I am a twenty-something year old female. I am an American. I come from a family with a strong military heritage (my dad and brother are both active duty). I can now honestly say my hair is auburn, not red (and I have not colored it in nearly ten months). I love to create. I love to read. I love to learn. I love to think. I prefer chocolate over vanilla. Between Mary Kay pink, Pepto Bismal pink, and Barbie pink, I love them all. Actually, I love color. I understand that life is short and that in my limited ways, I can impact the world (even if that world is a small one). Henri Frederic Amiel said it the best: "Life is short and we never have enough time for gladdening the hearts of those who travel with us. O, be swift to love! Make haste to be kind!"I want to make more room in my life for hasty kindness. I think somewhere I've lost that.

My present (today) I work as a park ranger. But I will hang up my flat hat in three days to step down from working for parks to work for myself.

I know, I am a little shocked, too. But not really. I have many reasons for stepping down, many more for moving forward. Some opportunities are hazy, some have minor definition, and some are as solid as concrete. Where do I think my road is going? I have no idea. But I plan on sharing some of my trek here. Or heck, all of it. Life's an adventure, right? You never know where that road will take you, not completely. We have hopes and we make plans, but we can't guarantee anything.

I don't know where my road is going. This won't always be easy, but I am convinced it is for the best.

Next week, I move back to Tennessee (surprise, surprise). Part of my not writing was due to keeping my "news" on the down low. Part of it is related to all the craziness involved with moving/packing. And maybe part of it comes from the idea that if I put myself out there like this (to the whole wide world!), I am setting myself up to publicly fail. The whole wide world might get to see someone stepping in directions she wants to go, only to trip and get muddied up! I expect getting a little dirty and hope I don't get muddied up, but watch me: here goes [nothing] [everything] [that of which falls between] [all of the above].

2 comments:

lastflicker said...

Good luck with everything! I know you will do well in anything you put your mind to.

ekg said...

Thanks, much! It means a lot, my friend. :)