Monday, August 24, 2009

Hermey should have been happy to remain an elf

Hermey the Elf from the 1964 movie "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was nuts. Why did that little guy want to be a dentist? Why does anyone want to be a dentist? Is it the inflecting of pain on others? The shrill sound of the drill in the morning? 

I pondered these questions as I sat in a chair that medieval torturers must have designed with a wire contraption hanging out of my mouth that those same torturers devised. As my dentist began his procedure (he had to re-fill a cavity that a previous dentist messed up), he said, "You will only feel some vibrations. This should just take a few minutes. Let us know if you feel uncomfortable at any time." Ummm. Hello!? I have had my mouth pried open for the last ten minutes and you are about to insert a drill into my mouth that is currently acting as a fountain of spit. Can you please define "uncomfortable"? 

The whole process lasted a little less than an hour. I walked out of there not being able to feel my tongue and my cheek feeling swollen five times its size. In fact, everything looked normal; it was a weird feeling. The numbing medication has worn off and now I can feel my mouth again. And it feels like someone has recently been using a jackhammer in my mouth.

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