Friday, May 9, 2014

How Many Trips to Walmart Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

"Hey, your left headlight is out so don't go drinkin and drivin."

"Just kidding, you should never go drinkin and drivin. But your headlight is still out."

My husband thought he was being funny in the way he texted me about some minor car maintenance this morning. Most mornings we have to play car switcheroo, as I park at night behind him but he has to leave fairly early. As an example to how early: It is only 8:00AM and our coffee pot has already turned off the "keep coffee warm" feature.

Seeing as it was likely going to storm some time this morning, I thought "Ah, ha! I am going to just go to the Walmart, change this sucker, and be done before the keep coffee warm feature turns off!" Thinking I wouldn't really see anybody at Walmart at 6:15AM, I threw on a dirty pair of jeans and a shirt I wore two days ago, tossed my hair into a haphazard bun, and trekked my way to the Walmart. Yeah, buddy. I bought the appropriate H7 headlight and drove home. I've changed a few headlights, this will be nothing. In fact, I tease my husband regularly that all of his car projects take infinitely longer than his initial time estimations. "I'll show him what's up. Watch this." I finished changing the bulb before the end of the Bob Dylan song I was listening to finished. "Ta da!"

But then it didn't turn on when I turned on my lights. So I fussed around a bit and discovered that the new bulb was missing a piece when compared to the old bulb. Nooooooooooooo! I had to trek BACK to the Walmart. I topped off my coffee and cruised back to the Walmart. It turns out all of the school zones rest between my house and Walmart. I made an exchange, even upgrading to the next better bulb (just in case), bought a *set* to change out both lights, and decided the Walmart parking lot is just as good of a place as any to do car maintenance. Plus I did not want to jynx myself by driving home only to discover further mishaps.

I popped my hood. "Do you need help, Miss?" "No, I'm fine, thank you!"

I changed the headlight AGAIN. "Are you having trouble, ma'am." "No, I am just changing my headlight, thanks!"

I tested my lights and it still was not working. "Ma'am, are you ok?" "I'm just fine, it's just my headlight."

I installed the other light. "Do you need a battery jump?" "No, thank you, just changing a bulb."

I realized I installed the second light in the wrong place and remedied the situation. "You need some help?" "Nope, just a light bulb!"

I tested the lights again, and they finally both came on. I proceeded to check all of my lights and they all worked. Thank you, Walmart Patrons, for all of your offers to help. Had I known I would receive that much attention this morning, I might have not worn a shirt that stinks. But then, I guess, it is Walmart.

So now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go heat up some coffee, take a shower, and scrub scrub scrub under my nails. And maybe take a does of humility for all the times I teased mechanics and my husband for taking longer than they originally estimated on projects.

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